My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize