found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
