This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
