I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
