"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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