It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
