Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize