one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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