dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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