you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have fence marks all over my body
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
