we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
