Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
