6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i now understand why vodka
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
