so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
