Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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