Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
