I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize