oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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