i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
She said her name was "party"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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