i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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