using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
