What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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