Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
