If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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