You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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