the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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