you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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