that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
