Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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