we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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