Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
