i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
