Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
