sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just google imaged poop.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
