I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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