He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
