yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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