Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
