nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
someone get that fucking seahorse.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
