Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
