i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
