Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
