I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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