you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
