i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
