I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just come out here and I will go home with you...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
