im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
