Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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