I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
