Don't you send me to vm
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Randomize
