The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
