You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
