And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize