So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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