Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
