Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize