You can't motorboat a personality
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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