Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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