For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This is classic penis vs brain.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
