Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
