i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We named our party play list daddy issues
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
