Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
